The struggles of being an ambivert

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Like most people, I don’t quiet fit into either category.

My 16personalities test (www.16personalities.com) shows that my Personality type is THE MEDIATOR (INFP-T).

Individual traits: 53% Introvert 47% Extrovert

It says, an introvert prefers do solitary activities and get exhausted by social interaction, and tend to be quiet sensitive to external stimulations. Introvert can quickly get exhaust their mental energy reserves and only tolerate such situation for quiet some time before they yearn for being solitude and quiet. In the other side, the extrovert tends to love being around people, engaging with external environment, more energetic, and willing to lead in many situations, and also enjoying challenges.

And I am in between. So here I am telling you the struggle of being an Ambivert person.

1. In general, I love to be around people, happy to meet new people and make new friends, engaging with them for conversation, and quiet adaptable to changing environment. But, in the same time, I can be uncomfortable after quiet some time. There is a time when I refuse to talk to strangers or start conversation with new people and choose being quiet and enjoy my “me time”.

2. In the conversation, I will be very happy to join in and show my highly interest when the interesting topic comes up. But after quiet sometime, as soon as the topics are done, I’ll sign my self out of conversation and just listening to the conversation without saying more words. I’ll probably just sit there and busy with my stuff.

3. I’ll be bored af when I have been doing solitude activities after quiet long time and need to get into around people and join in the conversation. But as soon as I feel like spending too much time with other people, I will be very very very very exhausted.

4. I have 2 different type of personality. I try to be so calmed and controlled in my job, but totally different person to my friend see.

5. I can go out often and have hours of fun time being in a party, but suddenly I will find my energy has drained and the only thing I want is going home.

6. My friends show disagreeing about whether I am an extrovert or introvert. But most of them agreed that I am extrovert but in the same time confused by seeing me enjoy solitude activities.

7. I often find myself just observing what’s happening around me and picking up the signal that others can miss.

8. I love attention, but more often I don’t. Most of the time I don’t want to be the center of attention and choose to sit in the corner of the room, and just observing.


9. I enjoy for being my self, show my true mask only in front of people I feel comfortable to be with. I love to have quality time with my very inner circle while I also enjoy my time of making new friends.
10. Other people sees me so damn moody.

-N e e-

When is relationship a relationship ?

When is relationship a relationship ?

Kind of a hard question, isn’t it? I think this is the most difficult thing to call hahaha..

Have you ever in this kind of situation?

You (assume you are a woman) are seeing one guy for some period of time, you are dating and see each other regularly. But however if anyone refers to you if you as his girlfriend, the colour drains from his face suddenly as he always say that you guys are going out properly but he is not ready yet to be in relationship, he wasn’t there yet, he was not even so sure to be in a serious relationship, with you, or with anyone else (whom even prettier of whatsoever than you).

I (yes, Me) slightly want to hit my head even my body to the wall or table right know – as I really really really know how easy to get into that kind of situation – and how it feels to be in that kind of situation. Yes, I do. And in my personal opinion, I don’t know if you guys have other ideas for this kind of situation, we must have to define and make the time limit, how long you wanna be in that situation. 8 weeks? 6 months? A year? It’s depends on how long you can stand of it. For me, 6 months will be more than enough. My reasoning is if someone doesn’t that strongly enough for you after certain period of time (with intense communication, dating, seeing each other), then they are never ever ever ever ever be strongly feel for me at all, and they don’t deserve me to spent time and energy for them neither. And one simply thing, He is just not that into you.

Because the thing is, men perhaps can have tons of excuse to not to be into serious relationship, name it, “Scared of commitment”, “I am not ready yet.” , “I have no string to be attached to her.”, “I just need more time to ensure she is the right person to me marry.”, “we are just having fun.”. “ Not ready yet to be committed to someone.”, etc. etc. etc. That’s bullshit. Totally bullshit. Because I believe that when someone meets with the right person, they can propose for a serious relationship or even for a marriage, quick enough. Yes, quick enough.

Be into serious relationship doesn’t mean you MUST marry her quickly, correct me if I am wrong, guys~. It means that being into more serious relationship, I mean, you can call each other as a couple, will give you more space and chance to get to know each other deeper. With casual relationship, there are always border and limit what- which- what – which things you gonna share to your partner.

Some guy say, “What is different?? When you have casual relationship and then you guys break up. With, you are in serious relationship and then you guys got break up as well. Both ended by broken heart and same disappointment, I must say.”

In my personal opinion, it still different bro~ *LOL*

How can you break up the relationship if the relationship itself NEVER been started?

- N e e -

Be kind anyway

People says that a best friend is whom talking bad in front your face instead of telling you the nice flowery words. In some point, I agreed.

But, do you agree that whom hurt us the most is the closest one?

Especially when they said something rude to us, just because they don’t agree with our thought or what we do. Without any intention, they just said it frankly… and sometimes… being rude. 

Somehow.

I don’t say that friendship is meaningless, but in some point, we have to manage our words depend on the situation. When we feel that we know our best friend so well, we tend to say whatever we want without thinking if our statement will hurt them. 

But, people change.  And somehow, they don’t / refuse to realize our changes, especially of our thought, our expectation, our life, etc. They still think that we are same as before. And we don’t have enough time to explain every single thought to them anyway.

People tends to speculate if they don’t know what’s going on in our life. When they think they know, they judge. When finally they know, they just hate. And then being rude. Or try to change us to what they want us to be.

Maybe I reached my point of limit where I am tired to accept what they said to me. In the end, I let them think what they wants. I have no energy to explain who I am to people who keep committed to misunderstanding me. 

Be kind anyway... 

We ALWAYS know what we have. We just never think we’d lose it.

Why do we have to take for granted for everything that deserve our gratitude the most, for people, love, and possession ? For almost of the time, we just realized after the person, the things, and the moment has passed. We tend to assume wherever we need it/them, they will always be there.

Most of the time, we fail to realize the value of the person or the moment until it is missing from our life. It is a common thing that happened when the relationship comes into its conclusion. When we break up, it will be very easy to fall into that crappy trap thought. And regret it. Sometimes. But once you are in out there in dating world, sometimes we feel it’s too little too late and we have to learn from our unfortunate decision.

What you should put on your mind that no such things perfect, especially when you expect it perfect only for you. Think of how lucky you are to have someone right beside you, or maybe right in front of you, and to have someone you completely f*cking comfortable around. That should be a best gift, and have to be cherished. Don’t wait for the time when you’ve lost it to finally realized and see how much you take it for granted.

Too many times, people missed the golden moment to find the right person because he/she is too busy looking around for someone better instead of seeing what is ‘ready’ right in front their face. Most of the time, people fall into a trap called ‘The grass is always greener in the other side.”. People always want something more, something better, something perfect, but less to see the mirror that reflect them IS NOT a perfect either.

Happiness comes to those you cherish it, fight for it, and appreciate it, and it never comes to those you fail to appreciate it. Happiness is not the result, but the key.

In fact, we ALWAYS know what we have. We just never think we’d lose it.

- N e e -

Random thought

Well, 

Some says, there may be a time when a committed relationship just doesn’t fit into our puzzle. Or maybe we have some bad experience in having wrong relationships, or maybe have a passionate, mind blowing, teenager love, and all the dramatic breakups that went with it. It seemed that relationship was ignited by instability, lieying, infatuation, irritating moments, heartbreaking. It was rocky and awful - went us into deep sadness, stresses, loneliness, and even in one moment can make us thinking about not having another relationship anymore.

And then we choose to be anonymous from everyone, choose to live our own life in our way. Or maybe being single will be the best choice (for this moment), you might have an open relationship with your partner, hang out with your friends, pursue your career, focusing on your hobby, live your life like there is no tomorrow. Even crazier, you move to other place that no one can find you, start a new life, built your own network, making new friends.

In order to reach your dream or maybe your purpose of life, maybe not everyone in your circle will stay behind your back.

All you can do is being your self, and live the story that no one else can live, the story if your own unique life.

Because, haters gonna hate, liars gonna lie, fakers gonna fake, and gossip will always be a gossip.

We live in our life, not theirs.

And we cannot pleased everyone by telling them one by one what exactly we are thinking about. Everyone has their own way to be happy.

Just be unique, be confident, and most of all, be happy.

But, sometimes, and in fact, you may be feeling lonely and in need of someone to hangout, kiss, and fool around with but can’t be bothered by the stress of a relationship.

And the other facts, guys have a natural git (and curse) of being detached from their emotions. They have no problem sweet talking to a woman, taking her on a date. In the other hand, woman tends to be more emotional and cautious of feeling being 'used'. 

Maybe, we can soar to the world that we will not fall in love with our guy best friend or our casual partner.

But...

We don't pick to be fell in love with..................

- N e e -

Membuat CV yang 'menjual'

Kerjaan sebagai Recruiter itu pasti ngga bakalan jauh2 dari yang namanya nerima CVs atau email atau telepon atau message bahkan SMS untuk keperluan lowongan kerja. Apalagi kalo kerjanya jadi recruiter di Recruitment Company alias Agency, randomly people will sent you either message or phonecall untuk nanyain ada opportunity apa yang cocok dengan kualifikasi mereka.

Nah yang mau aku bahas disini adalah TIPS gimana cara menulis CV dan mengirimkan CV yang (setidaknya) pantas ke HRD.

Kenapa? Karena ketika kita mengirimkan CV itu kan sebenernya sama aja kaya 'menjual diri' kita ke perusahaan kan? Dan penerima pertama dalam perusahaan biasanya dari HRD atau sukur2 Usernya mau handle langsung untuk kebutuhan recruitment (biasanya untuk perusahaan2 yang belum punya divisi HR sih ini). 

Selama sekitar 3 taon aku kerja di bidang jasa jual-beli manusia Recruitment ini, aku lumayan eneg sama yang namanya baca CV orang2 dari mulai yang staff level sampe yang executive level yang bener2 ngga tertata dengan rapi alias ngga 'menjual'. Aku sendiri bukan ahlinya untuk bikin CV atau apa.

*kan tinggal di browse bagaimana cara membuat dan mengirimkan CV dengan baik dan benar* 

blom kenal sama google ya, mas2 mbak2 Buibu Pakbapak? 

GREGETAN.

Bingung juga sih sama orang2 ini kenapa bisa ngga ada inisiatif untuk nanya kek atau browsing kek atau nanya dosen lah minimal (bagi yang baru lulus) gimana cara bikin dan mengirim CV yang bener.

Let's start!

Gimana cara bikin CV?

1. Format

PDF. Jangan dalam bentuk word, excel, atau power point ya teman2. Mohon kirimkan CV dalam bentuk file yang udah ngga bisa diganti2 lagi sama penerimanya. Selain karena masalah bukanya ribet, juga buat melindungi data kalian dari perubahan2 yang ngga diinginkan.

2. Bahasa

Sebenernya ngga ada patokan sih mau bikin CV pake bahasa inggris atau indonesia (asal bukan bahasa daerah ya~) Balik lagi itu tergantung dari perusahan apa yang mau kita masukkin CV. kalo misalnya kita mau ngelamar kerjaan di perusahaan multinasional atau PMA ya bikin CV pake bahasa Inggris, kalau perusahaannya super lokal ya pake bahasa indonesia aja biar aman (daripada lo kirim Cv tapi HRD nya ngga ngerti isinya trus lo dianggap ngga sesuai kriteria kan?). Mungkin ada baiknya bikin dalam 2 versi aja x ya, biar lebih mudah pada saat apply. 

3. Layout & isi CV

Standard aja sih kalo soal layout. Tergantung mau pake format macam apa yang penting isi CVnya kan? Isi CV itu sebenernya yang peting informasinya jelas. Yang penting di dalam CV ada beberapa point:

- Foto: Jaman sekarang ngga diharuskan pake foro terlalu formal kaya pas foto jaman dulu kok. Asalkan foto yang kita lampirin di CV itu terlihat profesional. Bisa aja pake baju formal tapi fotonya duduk dengan background polos, atau mungkin pakai baju kerja (ngga pake blazer/jas) tapi rapi (office look), sedikit make up supaya ngga keliatan pucat. catatan penting buat foto ini adalah walaupun tidak diharuskan pake pas foto, tapi bukan foto selfie ya. -_-

Contoh:

Karena dalam keseringan beberapa  kasus yang aku temui ketika nerima CV orang adalah fotonya hasil selfie yang keliatan muka doank, atau selfie yang berusaha keliatan setengah badan, dan fotonya pake camera HP / pocket camera *kan keliatan donk kalo difoto tangannya naik sebelah?*. Kasus berikutnya adalah pakaian yang dipakai seringkali cuma pake kaos oblong/ blouse santai, boro2 deh pake jas/blazer, atau pake baju casual semacam baju2 yang dipake sehari2/ weekend. Background-nya di Mall, toko, mobil, atau bahkan di supermarket. Dimana sisi profesionalnya? -__-

- Personal Data (ngga usah terlalu lengkap karena HRD bukan tukang sensus penduduk):  yang penting seperti Nama Lengkap, No. HP (kalau bisa jangan cuma 1, ada nomor alternatif), alamat Email, Domisili (kalau mau cantumin alamat rumah juga ngga papa). Kalo emang keterima kerja juga bakalan diminta kelengkapan dokumen kok, so no worry lah. Malah kalau terlalu lengkap, bahaya juga data kita tersebar kemana2.
- Education background: ini ngga usah dicantumin dari TK sampe Kuliah dimana ya, cukup 2 pendidikan terakhir aja (misalnya SMA dan S1 atau S1 dan S2) mulai dari periode kuliah, nama universitas, fakultas, dan jurusan, kalo mau cantumin IPK/GPA itu optional.
- Professional working experience: Namanya juga professional, cukup cantumin pengalaman2 kerja kalian yang bener2 professional misalnya pas magang/ internship pas kuliah, dan mulai dari pengalaman kerja kalian yang resmi di perusahaan/institusi. Yang ngga formal macem SPG, Private Teacher, MC, Penyiar Radio, dll., itu ngga usah dicantumin *Penuh2in CV aja*
Soal working experience ini juga kalo bisa jangan cuma tulis period kerja dan nama perusahaan aja *emangnya HRD itu cenanyang yang bisa tau lo kerja jadi apa disana*. Tapi ada baiknya juga dicantumin: Period kerja (bulan & tahun), Nama Perusahaan (sedikit deskripsi mengenai perusahaan tersebut, contohnya industry dan nationality nya), Posisi yang dijabat selama period kerja (kalau ada promosi dicantumin juga kronologisnya), dan penjelasan mengenai tanggung jawab kalian disana ngapain aja.
- Courses & Training: Ini cantumin aja yang penting2 misalnya yg berhubungan sama bahasa English Course (beserta score English test-nya kalau ada) atau Japanese course atau Mandarin; Training atau seminar yang berhubungan dengan pekerjaan (yang kursus masak, menjahit, make up ngga usah lah dicantumin).
- Certification(s): Kalau kalian memang sudah tersertifikasi keahlian tertentu, misalnya ISO certification, KAIZEN certification, etc. yang sekiranya bisa nambah2 nilai jual.
- Languange(s): English, Japanese, Chinese, France, Germany, atau apapun. Ngga usah ditulis kalo misalnya kalian fasih berbahasa daerah misalnya bahasa jawa, sunda, padang, madura, dll. Kita ngga kerja pake bahasa daerah toh? o_O' Kecuali emang pekerjaannya menuntut harus mengenal budaya setempat yah.
- Summary: Tulis aja summary atau rangkuman mengenai diri kalian dalam beberapa kalimat yang menggambarkan spesialisasi kalian sebagai employee.
Contoh:
 “ A recruiter who has over three (3) years working experience in Recruitment Company. Experienced in handling recruitment consultancy for staff level to executive level position with specialization in FMCG, Food & Beverage processing, Trading, Building material, Manufacturing, and Education industry. “

Note: Untuk summary, bisa juga dicantumkan setelah personal data sehingga sebelum baca details, HRD sudah dapet gambaran mengenai diri kalian.

Kalau untuk para fresh graduated, coba jual diri kalian lebih ke team work, organisasi yang kalian pernah ikuti ketika kuliah, kerja magang yang pernah dilakukan (bukan SPG atau MC ya) , atau training2 yang pernah diikuti. Pokoknya yang menunjukkan kalau kalian itu siap untuk bekerja dan ada bekal gitu.

- Save dengan nama professional , misalnya "CV - Nena R" atau "Curriculum Vitae - Nena" , etc.

Done untuk penulisan CV.  *Lap keringet

Eh, kalo kalian ada saran dan masukan atau mungkin hal-hal yang perlu ditambahin jangan takut untuk ditambahkan ya. Karena ini cuma tips & triks dari seorang recruiter yang berharap kandidat2nya lebih berkualitas ketika membuat CV. :D

NEXT.

Nah.. Kalo udah OK dengan penulisan CV, saatnya ngomongin soal gimana tata cara mengirimkan CV ke HRD. Jadi ya bok, ngirim CV ke HRD/ perusahaan itu kan tujuannya supaya kita bisa dipanggil untuk interview. Jadi kalau ngirim CV itu hendaknya juga sesuai dengan sopan santun yang berlaku seperti:

- Siapkan alamat email yang professional : lebih aman kalau bikin alamat email pake nama lengkap atau nama normal kalian. Bukan dengan nama2 alay kalian ya.

- Subject email harus jelas, jangan cuma "Curiculum Vitae' atau " (nama)'s Resume" atau "looking for opportunity" atau apapun. Lebih baik kalau diperjelas dengan misalnya: " CV Nena - application for Recruitment Manager" 

- Greetings, Jangan sampe tuh ya, kirim email dengan attachment CV kalian, tanpa ada pesan apa2 di body email. Ibaratnya, ngomong permisi dulu lah sama yang jagain pintu biar dikasih lewat. Jangan asal nyelonong aja tanpa ijin sama si penjaga. Kalau kalian bingung / clueless mau nulis apa di badan email, coba jelasin aja siapa kalian dan dapat referensi dari mana mengenai lowongan yang kita apply, trus sedikit gambaran lah pengenai profile kita sebelum ditutup dengan menerangkan bahwa kita melampirkan CV sebagai bahan pertimbangan. Jualan kan kudu pake basa-basi dulu. :D

Contoh:

Dear Ms. Nena, Based on the information that I accepted from (nama website) regarding vacancy of (nama posisi) position.  I am very interested in applying for position posted as (nama posisi).   

My name is (nama) and I'm a graduated from of Chemical Engineering Department-Faculty of Industrial Technology, ABC University Jakarta (2013) 

I Have been actively involved in organizing for various projects with multinational exposure. That is I am confident that overall more than 11 years of the organizational experience, creativity, communication skills, presentation skills, negotiating skill and leadership abilities I possess will prove invaluable to the company that you representing. 

I have proven strong commitment, hard worker, detailed person and good leadership. I'm realy excited to join in your company and I will give my best contribution. For your consideration I enclose my personal information such as CV along with this application letter. 

I would like to be glad to have an interview in your convenience.Thank you for your consideration and attention. 

Regards,
(Nama)

 Sebelum kalian mengirimkan CV, tentunya perlu diperhatian jenis pekerjaan yang kalian mau apply ya. jangan sampe nih, sebenernya kalian orang sales, tapi malah apply jadi accounting. Atau engineer apply jadi production staff. *Buang2 tenaga juga karena CV nya ngga bakalan dilirik sama HRD* . So, jangan sembarangan kirim CV ke semua lwongan yang ada, karena kalian kan ngga tau kalau HRD itu somehow punya forum sendiri yang ngomongin soal HR. Jangan sampe nama kalian muncul sebagai kandidat yang apply ke semua tempat ya. Bukannya dapet kerjaan, yang ada malah CV kalian ngga bakalan dilirik. Hal-hal yang perlu diperhatikan misalnya:

- Jenis industri perusahaan : Manufacture, retail, trading, etc.

- Nationality : local,PMA, Multinational, etc.

- Posisi lowongan yang dibuka: kalau adanya lowongan untuk accounting ya jangan apply untuk sales donk. Contohnya.

- Lokasi kerja : jangan sampe nih udah apply trus baru tau kalau ternyata penempatan di papua atau mana gitu. Disamping buang2 waktu kalian, juga buang waktu HRD-nya.

Kayaknya itu deh. Semoga membantu ya. happy job hunting!!!

- N e e -